I woke up this morning thinking that I should look up the definition of “happiness” and “peace”, so I did. And here they are:
happiness: a state of well-being and contentment, a pleasurable or satisfying experience
peace: a state of tranquility or quiet, freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions, harmony in personal relations
Similar, but different ideas, right? One is transient and temporary, a moment. The other is ongoing and probably takes a bit more work. I think I’m working toward a peaceful heart more than pure happiness. I find happiness in little things every day, but peace is found even on the crummy days. The peace that I know this too shall pass whether it be an event or state of mind.
Yesterday, a friend on Facebook posted this quote, “Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” It’s from Mandy Hale. That last sentence is what really struck me. “When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” It’s just a change in your perspective, the way you look at or think about a situation. Out of chaos can spring some amazing things, just wait for it and see where it goes.
The quote was still in my mind this morning, so I googled the name and found her website. I was instantly pulled to this post, The Hardness of Life. The Goodness of God. I cried through it, it was so touching. I’m not in a “hard” part of my life. In fact, I’ve had very little hardness in my life. There were moments, short (in my current frame of reference) stretches of some crappy times. But for some reason, I can’t dwell on them anymore. They do pop up in my mind at times, but I bounce right back to the idea that those moments made me who I am today. I’m wondering if I should go back to them in my journals and see if I can’t shed some light on what went wrong and how exactly it helped me grow. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Maybe it would be too much for me. Maybe the reason those remembrances are so fleeting is that God knows I’ve done what I could about it and moved on from there. There may be no sense in rehashing bad memories for me. I may just read them and think “Why was I so upset?” To me, that would be a sign that I’m done with that time. But what if I don’t? What if it hurts to see that place I was? What if? One thing is for sure. There are people in my past I don’t ever want to see again. And there are people that I wish I could apologize to.