I find it strange that so many things in my life are pointing me to a path of taking a good look at myself.
Yesterday, as I was making dinner for my family, I started thinking again. I had been trying to catch up a bit on some things I had been working on for my homeschool group and feeling less than adequate. I feel like I’ve been trying to “make something of myself”, something more than Mom and Wife. I found myself complaining to my husband that I’m “only good at cooking and cleaning and taking care of my family.” What?! Did I not just complain about hearing someone else express something similar? What’s so wrong about staying right where I am at the moment and being really good at being a wife and mother? Why am I putting aside the laundry and getting my sons to their practices more often because I’m busy building something else that had nothing to do with them? I’ll have time for that later! Even if I died the year after my sons left home and I never did anything else, doesn’t it mean something that I did that very well? I think it does.
I’m tired all the time. I’m stressed. The more I build up outside my house, the more my family lacks my presence and, believe it or not, my teenage boys and my husband do want me around. We actually enjoy each others company.
It all started because I can see my journey as a homeschool mom coming to a close. I started to scramble for what’s next like leaving my perfect dinner to run to the grocery store for supplies for the next meal! It ends now. It’s reevaluation time and I know just where to start!